So it’s been nearly a year since I posted about my struggles and recovery from eating disorders. I continue to feel great both physically and mentally and notice positive changes in my reactions and behaviours related to this.
And the biggest change ….I’m no longer a runner !!! Not by my own choice per se but my crapola feet made that decision for me in early November. To make a long story very short , after non stop ball of the foot pain that wouldn’t let me take off my socks without pain never mind run or walk and weeks of avoiding all activities that flexed my toes, I had an MRI. This showed not one or two but three bursitis and some cysts. I continued to rest and finally after 3 months of fighting with it without any long lasting changes I had a cortisone injection.
Holy hell that hurt for the first couple of days and during the injection but it allowed me to get back to walking and other toe flexing things and I could walk on the bare floor and put my socks on without pain:)!
I tried some very little walk /running a month after the shot and after getting to 7×1 mins walk run after a month of this slow progressing once a week, I gave up. My feet hurt, it didn’t feel natural and I wondered how I endured all those years of pounding. Three months later the shot has mostly worn off. It’s not as bad as before I had it, so this current state is manageable and I’ve accepted it as my new normal so that’s a step in the right direction too.
What I noticed the most during that time of trying to lay off the offending activity was that I was totally ok with NOT running. In the past when I had those big injuries or even needing to take one week off was torture. I worried about how much weight I would gain, how much fitness I could lose etc. This go around I focused on the activities I could do that didn’t hurt (cue cycling and Zwift app!) , and Kangoo boots…..as well as just being more okay with the whole process. Realizing maybe this was the end to that activity that I and so many others identified me with. This weekend I volunteered as I usually do with my family at the TO Women’s run event and not for one second did I wish I was running it. That’s progress for sure and solidified my decision to give it up.
This year I also continued to share my story by participating in Honouring the Journey . This was a symposium put on by NIED ( National Initiative for Eating Disorders). I told my story , with my dad, husband and teen daughter in attendance. Many people came up to me following my talk and commented on how open and emotional my story was and that I should be proud for sharing it. I was. And am now on the organization committee to plan and participate in future symposiums.
Life continues to move on . I am very happy with my current state of mental and physical health and I know that this time around I am truly recovered. Now my goal is to help others do the same.
This July I will turn 50. New chapters of my life, new changes in routine and new beginnings of who knows what else . I’m ready for it. Bring on 50!!!